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February 15 2017

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Today: A lesson in German capitalisation



Die Spinnen!
= The spiders!
Die spinnen!
= They are crazy!

Er hatte liebe Genossen.
= He had kind companions.
Er hatte Liebe genossen.
= He had enjoyed love.

Sich brüsten und Anderem zuwenden.
= to gloat and turn towards other things
Sich Brüsten und Anderem zuwenden.
= to turn towards breasts and other things

Sie konnte geschickt Blasen und Glieder behandeln.
= She was adept at treating blisters and limbs.
Sie konnte geschickt blasen und Glieder behandeln.
= She was adept at giving blowjobs and handling members.

Der Gefangene floh.
= The prisoner escaped.
Der gefangene Floh.
= The imprisoned flea

Helft den armen Vögeln.
= Help the poor birds.
Helft den Armen vögeln.
= Help poor people with sex.
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Lass die Sonne rein!
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July 07 2015

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I wouldn’t let David electrocute himself so I’m the asshole

via Funny Pictures Daily
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So I there’s a bridge near my house, and a couple of months ago, I was going to jump off it. When I got there, I saw some people sitting down on the bench not too far from the bridge with their backs turned to me. 

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I thought this was weird, since I never see anyone around the bridge. I didn’t want anyone hearing/seeing me and try to come to my rescue, so I waited an hour. When I got back, they were still there. I moved on and forgot about jumping off. Now, a couple of months later, I went for a walk. When I reached the bridge, I saw that the people were still there. They were still the same, backs turned to me with brightly colored coats. I took out my ear buds and called out to them. They didn’t move. I got a little closer and, when I got close enough, I realized that they cardboard people. 

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Whoever put those there, I want to thank you for saving my life, you weird ass mother fucker.

Hey buddy,
Reposted fromlordminx lordminx
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— this is literally your mum at the start of every pokemon game

thicc bicth
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queereon:

lgbtprolife:

dreamofbecoming:

Reasons abortion should be fully covered on all insurance plans:

  • If you can’t afford an abortion, you definitely can’t afford a pregnancy
  • If you can’t afford an abortion, and are forced to carry a pregnancy to term anyway, you sure as hell can’t afford a child

Who the fuck do you think you’re really protecting here?

Nobody should pay for another person’s murder plan. 

well then i guess in that case we should also stop using taxpayer dollars to fund police departments and the military industrial complex lol

Being undead is no excuse for skipping leg day
Reposted fromlordminx lordminx
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THE PROPER WAY TO APOLOGIZE

Don’t say, “I’m sorry this offended you”.
Instead say, “I’m sorry I was offensive.

Don’t say, “I didn’t mean to hurt you.”
Instead say, “I didn’t mean to hurt you, but intent means nothing because the damage is already done.”

Don’t say, “It was just a joke.”
Instead sat, “Some things should not be joked about.”

Don’t say, “I wouldn’t try to hurt anyone like that.”
Instead say, “I realize I hurt people with my words, and I’m sorry.

Don’t say, “I‘ll remove the joke if it bothers you so much.” (if posted online)
Instead say, “Yes, I said this, and it was wrong, and now I know not to say things like this again.

Don’t say, “Well other people weren’t bothered by it.”
Instead say, “Well some people weren’t bothered by it, but others were, and their concerns are just as valid and worthy of consideration.

Stop accepting passive apologies that do not show the offensive party actively taking responsibility for their mistakes.

THE PROPER WAY TO APOLOGIZE | Old School Tendencies
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.. und BILD so ..
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kirschnein:

spoo-kyou:

how much money do they pay the models in stock photos

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like

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seriously

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wHAT

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IS

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THIS

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I DON’T

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UNDERSTAND

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WHAT

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IS THAT SALAMI

nah salami is darker

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antoinettemalificus:

jetblueivy:

drive thru employees
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definitely
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do not
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get paid
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enough
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for
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this
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shit
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they are sick of your nonsense
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I lost my fucking shit at the fish and scared the shit out of my cat!! I am crying!! 

Reposted frommylyricalsympathy mylyricalsympathy viasofias sofias
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